Free Fallin'

 

These past few days have been… interesting. Not all bad, not all good. I’d say it’s been a space of indifference. I’ve been processing information, trying to listen to what my body is telling me, while also tuning in to the Holy Spirit. I’m not trying to convince myself of anything. I’m just taking my raw emotions to the One I know can heal and speak truth: God.

So, I recently did a thing.
I submitted my letter of resignation, with no backup plan.

If you know me, you know I try to have a plan for everything. If something doesn’t work out, I need a fallback. While I’m being honest… I’ve even done that in relationships. You’re probably thinking, “This chick needs therapy.” Guess what? You’re right. 😅 But that’s beside the point.

I felt like the Lord was leading me to leave—and I did—with no “Danielle Plan.” And you know what? It’s been so freeing to tell people, “I have no idea what I’m doing next.”

Let me shift gears and talk about something else. I recently went to a baby shower for some dear friends. I was (and still am) so genuinely excited for them. But afterward, I found myself holding space for something I didn’t expect. While I was filled with joy, being there also reminded me of a life I deeply longed for but haven’t experienced: raising my daughter with a partner.

I witnessed their community living this life as well. And yes, I know what’s on the surface isn’t always the full story. But still, what I saw mirrored something I’ve wanted. I didn’t expect grief to show up that day, but it did.

Please hear me: My daughter and I have a beautiful life. Believe me when I say that. Our story is unexpected in so many ways. I never thought I’d be a single parent. That was not on my bingo card. I also didn’t think I’d still be single 12 years after having her. 

A few months ago, I was praying (okay, complaining) to God. I was tired. I needed a break. I couldn’t see a way out. I told Him, “I have no one.” No man. No husband. No partner to fall back on.

Just me. Or so I thought.

But God has been reminding me: I do have Someone.
My Heavenly Father. My ultimate Provider.

In Philippians 4, Paul talks about God’s provision. I want to share that passage below. Tucked inside is a verse that gets quoted all the time. But what often gets missed are the verses that come before it, where Paul talks about being content in both abundance and in need. That’s the context. That’s where the strength comes from.

I can quit my job without knowing what’s next, through Christ.
Because my strength isn’t my own.

Philippians 4:10–20 (ESV)

10 I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. 11 Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. 12 I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. 13 I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

14 Yet it was kind of you to share my trouble. 15 And you Philippians yourselves know that in the beginning of the gospel, when I left Macedonia, no church entered into partnership with me in giving and receiving, except you only. 16 Even in Thessalonica you sent me help for my needs once and again. 17 Not that I seek the gift, but I seek the fruit that increases to your credit. 18 I have received full payment, and more. I am well supplied, having received from Epaphroditus the gifts you sent, a fragrant offering, a sacrifice acceptable and pleasing to God. 19 And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. 20 To our God and Father be glory forever and ever. Amen.

Let me also say this: provision isn’t just about money.
God has blessed me with relationships—real, supportive people.

I can call a friend right now and ask if they can take my daughter to swim practice or pick her up. I can call a family member to keep her during a school break.

He has provided.

What I’ve struggled to trust is that He could still provide… even when I’m not out here producing at a job. That part is new for me. Because let’s be real, most single parents aren’t just out here quitting their jobs. It doesn’t even feel logical to me. And yet—here I am. 

This post is meant to encourage. To remind you that in every situation, God is sovereign. He sees you. He cares for you. And He provides in the ways you need.

I’m not on the other side of this story yet. I’m still walking through it—in real time.
Still trusting. Still free fallin'. But I want to encourage you: Throw off whatever’s keeping you from falling into the arms of your Heavenly Father. I’m not saying quit your job just because. I’m not saying do something radical for the sake of being radical.

What I am saying is—lean into where He’s calling you.
Even if it doesn’t make sense.

Much love, 

Dani